Imagine that your partner announces that the house needs a pet. They charge out the door, in search of the perfect furry animal to add to the family.
Meanwhile, you start making plans, thinking about the dog you assume will be coming home. You dream of long walks in the woods, throwing a frisbee to it, taking it to the lake to swim, and it chasing off strangers and solicitors.
Alas, a few hours later your partner returns with Fluffy, a sweet, furry little kitten.
You are a bit disappointed, but you believe in the power of commitment and decide that you will raise your cat as a dog.
You feed the kitten puppy chow, and begin to attempt teaching Fluffy to sit on command, to catch dog treats you toss her, and you get a little leash, to take her for walks.
A few months of this, and you are a bit frustrated. No matter how hard you try, Fluffy won’t bark, she seems to completely disregard the “Speak” command, except to mew a bit and rub on your leg. And throwing frisbees at her results in her yowling and hiding under the couch.
The poor kitty has become distressed, hiding, losing fur and generally not thriving. What’s gone so wrong?
It’s a cat.
We do the same thing in our own lives, in a more subtle way. We all look similar enough to think that we are all dogs. But we’re not. If dogs are the norm we see on tv, the outgoing, happy people in commercials, the students who pay attention and study and succeed, while enjoying every minute of it, I’d suggest there are actually very few dogs.
In truth, we are diverse, some dogs, some cats, some lions, some eagles. But our world tells us that being a dog is the acceptable path. If we want to be happy and successful, we’d better learn to love kibble and catch frisbees. We’d better bark on command.
And those things are great for the dogs among us! They actually are happy!
But the rest of us are unhappy, ineffective ‘dogs’, when we could be amazing, happy cats, etc.
So what does this mean for you?
It means that the first question you have to ask when going down a path of self improvement, whether education, physical health, career, etc, we have to understand whether this path is meant for the animal we are. If it’s not, we are unlikely to excel or be happy.
And the same is true for those around you. If your kid is an eagle, trying to get them to act like a dog is doomed to fail.
Look deeply and be honest. Do you like kibble? Is catching a frisbee exciting and joyful? Or are you pretending to be a dog.
What animal are you, really? And what animals are the people you love?
If they are dogs, great, let them follow the standard path of life, and enjoy the easy road.
But if they are a cat, don’t try to make them a dog.